Skip to main content
Podcast

How To Overcome People Pleasing And Live Courageously With Grace Valentine

By May 12, 2022May 17th, 2022No Comments

Grace Valentine, popular twenty-something author and speaker, joins us for a conversation about courageously and bolding stepping into our God-given callings without seeking the approval of others. You will be reminded that women are celebrated and included in scripture, loved by God, and have unique and beautiful callings on their lives. Soak in life lessons and wisdom from women of the Bible like Deborah, Rahab, and Tabitha as you seek to live your life for God. Christie and Grace explore the bondage of people pleasing and share practically ways they rise above it. Let’s be women who unafraid and are passionately answering the call on our lives rather than trying to perform, impress, or win the approval of others.

Watch the episode here

 

Listen to the podcast here


 

How To Overcome People Pleasing And Live Courageously With Grace Valentine

How often do you say yes when you want to say no? How often do you make yourself smaller or hide your true feelings or opinions so that you do not offend others? This is part of what we are going to be talking about on the show. We are going to talk about people-pleasing. A great description from Scott Mautz is, “People-pleasing behavior is when you are hungry for approval and eager to avoid conflict, so you say yes even when you do not want to.”

“You might also tell a little untruth to avoid hurt feelings and suppress your real opinions and beliefs in order to get along and make things smoother. You might even take on more and more so as not to disappoint or be disliked until you reach the point of overwhelm.” The Bible speaks directly to the heart of the issue in this and that is what we are going to dive into. We have an amazing woman, best-selling author, blogger, and podcaster, Grace Valentine, to join us for a conversation on moving past the opinions of others to live a courageous life of freedom. Welcome.

I am so excited to be here, Christie. I admire the show and it is so fun to always talk to someone else. You are in California, right?

I am in California, where are you?

I am in Florida. It is the complete opposite side of the country and that is cool that you can be literally on the other side of the country, same God and cool conversations can happen. There can be so much bad things that can come from social media or the internet, but it is cool when God can use a bad thing and make it a good thing because it is a God thing. The fact that we are connected is cool.

I love that you are bringing that. Technology has the power for good. Speaking of media and in addition to your I’m Tired podcast and your blog, you have a new book coming out this summer of 2022 called What Will They Think?: Nine Women in the Bible Who Can Help You Live Your Life Boldly.

Yes, I am so excited.

It is so exciting. This is such a timely topic of women living their life boldly in a biblical way. There is so much to explore there. This book has a central topic that I can’t wait to dive into and that is how we can stop seeking validation from other people and instead live the courageous life we were meant to live. I want to turn it over to you. What moved you to write this book at this point in your faith journey?

Honestly, I remember the moment I knew I wanted to write about women in the Bible very clearly. I had a girl message me and a lot of younger girls followed me. There are so many messages. My generation gets about the Bible and scripture, how it is so old, and it hates women. I remember a girl messaged me saying, “I hate that scripture. I want to believe in Jesus. Every time I pray, I feel his presence. It feels good to know who God is and I feel peaceful, but at the end of the day, I hate the way that scripture talks about women. I am a girl who is super independent and I am so proud of the job that I want to do. In scripture, hates woman and that God hates women.”

I was like, “That is not God,” but I started to realize, honestly, if we start looking and thinking that the Bible makes women afterthoughts of scripture, we are going to believe the lie that God hates women. When you open up the Bible, women are not afterthoughts. God placed so many women there. This is a time when that was not even common. The women were not given a chance to speak often. They were not even allowed most times to speak in the temple or the church.

We are called to press on and not figure out what other people say about us. Click To Tweet

The idea that women are woven in the scripture doing crazy, cool, bold, courageous things, learning some lessons the hard way, still being a little bit messy like all of us human beings are. That showed me that I, as a woman, can be bold in my calling. I can walk on purpose and not seek approval from other people. I wanted other women to know that because in books, especially if it is self-help or something, it is so easy to see a lot of books that are like, “You are the Queen bee. Be the Baddie. You got it, girl. It is all up to you. You are the hero of your life.”

It is easy to see other Christian books that say, “Getting married is the biggest and best blessing in your life. Your life is all about being a sidekick.” Neither of those narratives is true when you look at scripture. Being married can be a way that you can expand the gospel, but each of us has this beautiful purpose. Maybe it is childbearing or being a leader in the political sector like Deborah was.

She is someone in the Bible. It is cool to see that. I feel like there is such a need for all generations to see that women are included in scripture. God loves women and God calls women up. When you stop living for the approval of others and you stop thinking, “I wonder what they will think of me if I do this, you can walk fully involved in the gospel.”

Two things come to mind as you are sharing that. The first one is Rahab. Formerly Rahab, The Prostitute, becomes Solomon’s mom. God puts her in the lineage of Jesus because of her faith in God. That is addressing that conception that the Bible hates women. I think that Jesus was a radical supporter of women. Mary Magdalene, the Bible honors her as one of the disciples of Jesus who was there with him at the cross and who was faithful to him until the end.

Women would have lasted the cross versus the tomb like, “Go and tell your brothers.” It is easy to put this narrative of, “As a woman, you can lead a women’s Sunday school.” That can be a great holy thing, but it is cool to think that women were put in the gospel and scripture to be world changers to point to Christ, who ultimately can save the world and save everyone’s souls.

We, in our lives now, whether you are in your dead-end job, feel like you are a mother with three teenagers who are driving you crazy, or you are younger in college and God has placed you there for a reason, you can be bold in that calling. You are never going to be able to be bold if you do not want to notice how beautiful scripture is and how it includes women and if you are so busy listening to what other people think.

If that is what you are listening to versus what scripture and what God is calling you up to, you are going to miss out on it. It helps you see that. I always say I never felt more women empowerment until I read the scriptures. That is a little different than what the world tells us, but scripture to me, reading their stories, whether it is Rahab or Mary Magdalene and her testimony going from having demons cast from her for following Jesus and serving him so well.

One of the women I talk about in this book is Tabitha. There is not much we know about Tabitha. She is in Acts 9 and she sewed clothes for the widows and the poor in her area. Peter came and rose her from the dead because she was dead and they cleaned everything. What she did was she looked around and she loved the overlooked in her area. That was a beautiful, bold calling of hers. Sometimes, we get caught up in being the main character or the hero, but it is so cool to look at scripture and realize that the bullet list and the best legacy you can leave is one that looks at Jesus and follows his approval and his purpose and not the opinions of others.

What you are saying points to the heart of the matter, and that is that each of us has a unique calling. Esther was called to be a queen. Tabitha was called to be a seamstress, but the impact was seen as equal in the kingdom of God. There are no lesser callings in God’s kingdom. The most fruitful thing we can do in our lives is to live into that. To bring it to a personal level, will you share what people-pleasing has looked like for you and the impact that you saw having on your life?

Whether it was in the church or not in the church, growing up, especially body image, was something I struggled with as a high school girl. I had an eating disorder. All I could think about was getting hot or getting into a revenge body, proving middle school and high school bullies, ex-boyfriends wrong, and becoming this hot girl. Even nowadays, a lot of young girls have that hot girl summer mentality. That was my first addiction to it.

WOMA Grace | Overcoming People Pleasing

Overcoming People Pleasing: Women were put in the gospel and scripture to be world changers, to point to Christ who ultimately can save the world and everyone’s souls.

 
I remember getting compliments when I got skinnier, even though I was doing it in an unhealthy way. That was like a drug when you get that approval. It is never enough. They are like, “How did you get your body? What would you do?” You then feel this pressure to keep pleasing them as if you are on stage when you are some girl in the suburbs. You are acting like their opinion and their compliments mean the world. It is not wrong to be a word of affirmation person, but if that becomes something you idolize, crave, and need, and that is your foundation, then once again, you are missing out.

That is something I struggle with. I then went to college. The normal college thing to do is to go to parties, drink a lot, get asked for frat formal, and that became my life. I was very much someone in the party scene. I even still get nervous when someone is like, “I knew someone who graduated from Baylor with you.” I am like, “Really? You probably see me at that party.”

What is ironic is me drinking for these parties and me still getting nervous when someone mentions that they knew of me in college. Both of those things can be simple because I care about what other people think of me. Nowadays, I struggle with the feeling of like, “Will they still think I am worthy of being an author in this Christian sector if they knew I was a drunk girl?” I am like, “That is not the gospel. That is other people’s opinion on my reputation.”

It is a mixture of all of that, and even in your first job after work. You are doing everything to impress your boss. Once again, it is not wrong to work hard and work out, but when that becomes something that is intoxicating for you, if you are going to parties for other people’s approval and not even enjoying it, not even realizing why you are there, or you are making decisions that you think you have to and that is not holy and not something that feels like your identity, then you are missing out.

Especially with summer coming up, body image is something that I struggle with. I know all women of all generations struggle with it. It is so easy, and the law of society tells us to think we, as women, are meant to be someone to please other people. I might be a soft-spoken young girl and even being in Christian settings, I have always been more of an outspoken person. The Bible and reading scriptures have been so freeing for me because there are soft-spoken women in the Bible and they are loud-spoken.

There were women who doubted like Sarah, who laughed and God called her out for that. There were women like Tabitha who sewed but we do not know much about her personality. It is cool to think that all those personalities were used for the gospel. I do not know about you. Did you ever struggle with any of those things too?

Yes. I was a model when I was younger. That is what I did to make money.

That culture is so hard, I have heard from people.

You called it out. For me, I started basing it to, “Am I okay by how I look?” I started using beauty as a weapon in order to put up a false mask to protect myself. I think that can apply to whatever it is. You said that so well. It can be work, success, good grades, partying, and being popular or however that looks. It can even be putting the opinions of people in the church over the opinion of God.

When I go to something and someone is like, “Did you know this person from Baylor?” I get anxious and that is my sin. I have to call that out. I have to be like, “I am trying to please these church people and make it feel like I fit in.” I was not ever called a fit in. We are called to be a body of many parts and that means that we are all going to bring something different to the table.

We’ve been busy doing it all that we haven't even stopped to slow down and give God a chance to speak. Click To Tweet

If someone is gossiping about me because of my past, then look at Mary Magdalene and these women in the Bible who were not focused on what people thought of who they used to be. They were looking forward to Christ. Personally, every time I have looked back on my past, in a way, I am antagonizing it. If I look back to the left or to the right of what people are saying about me, I miss out on the blessings in my present that I looked forward to. We are called to press on and not figure out what other people are saying about us.

It is easy to say and hard to do because here you are, you host a Christian show. I wrote a book about this. It is still something that I have to battle daily but it is a battle that is worth fighting daily because it is what gives you peace and freedom. You can’t wake up and think it is going to be bibbidi-bobbidi-boo and you are never going to care about what people think of you. You have to wake up every day and say, “I am going to care more about Christ. I am going to pray for a perspective that helps me look forward and not to the left and to my right.” That is what helps you walk in that freedom.

Tuning in to the voice of the holy spirit, which is what you are saying. In order to know our identity and walk forward, we need to be listening to God and asking. Maybe you are reading this and you are like, “I do not know if I hear God’s voice. Sometimes, I get confused and I do not know if it is God or me.” Pray and ask God to make it clear to you when he is speaking.

It is not God if it is a voice of accusation. “You blew it again. You are so unclear on what to do.” If it is a discouraging voice, that is not the voice of God, but in order to walk in our true identity, we need to seek God, seek him in the Bible, seek him in the living word, which is Jesus, and listen to his voice. Are there any practices that you put into place in your life in the past or now to stop seeking validation from other people?

I always think the first one is to be honest with the other people around you that that is something you struggle with. I even think when I was going to body struggles or even work, I had to say, “Stop complimenting me for these things that are not worthy. Can you focus your compliments on things that are spirit-led?” I had to tell some close friends that. They did not mean it that way. They were like, “You look great. Your body looks great.” They were being hyped girls or cheerleaders. If you allow the compliments to name you and be something that controls you, then when there are no compliments or there is snickering or gossip that is going to tear you down.

I remember talking to my good Christian friends. I am like, “Hold me accountable by not making compliments or words of affirmation about something that is not holy.” Talking to your people and your cheerleaders and being honest that that is something you are struggling with. If grades or job is what you are struggling with, say, “Remind me my worth is not that.” I do not need like a, “You go, girl. You be that bad Queen bee energy.”

I need someone who is going to say, “I want your holy energy. I want to see you be holy and do holy things, not main character things.” Creating that environment is so crucial. Also, you talked about prayer and listening for God’s voice, and I love that because we have totally tried to make God speak to us in only one way, through a physical voice. Most of us will maybe never hear a physical voice in our lifetime.

My challenge for anyone who is struggling with people-pleasing is getting yourself out there, looking at nature, and praying. I always say we talk about love languages when it comes to humans. It was like, “Are your words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time?” Our faith should be using all of those lovely languages with Christ. If you can’t hear God through words and if you have been reading the scripture and it doesn’t feel like it is clicking, try acts of service. Try to go mentoring a young girl, going physical like you might be praying on your knees, that physical touch with Christ, or even being in nature. Not even maybe quality time.

I go on a walk if I am so stressed about gossip or what people think of me. I have to take myself away from my current setting, change my placement to something where I can say, “If God let the sun rises every day and figures that crap out, surely he is going to figure out my placement in this life. Surely, he is not putting people in my life or taking people away or something because he wants to see me suffer.” There is a greater purpose for that.

Those are the main things. Check your surroundings and your friendships, and have them hold you accountable for what you do and who you want to be. Make sure you are in a church. That is an easy thing to say, but with COVID, we have all gotten so used to watching church and no one knows us, but if you are not known, then how can you be pushed to Christ? You have to be known in order to be called up.

WOMA Grace | Overcoming People Pleasing

Overcoming People Pleasing: Waking up every day and saying, “I’m going to care more about Christ and pray for perspective,” helps you look forward and walk in that freedom.

 
For me, that is something that can be hard. I like to be independent. I do not want people to think I am dependent on them, but it is so beautiful when we see Christ that the people around us can be the same people who represent that love. Sometimes you may not hear a physical voice, even though I do believe God can speak to us through his spirit, but you may have a friend who is praying too and they get a word from Christ. That may be what you need at that moment. Check those things.

Community is a good one, on this note of hearing from God because this is such an integral ingredient. I think about each one of these women in the Bible and I want to ask you who your favorite was writing about the nine or which one resonated with you in a second, but each one of these women heard directly from the spirit of God.

As believers, we need to tune in as we are seeking Jesus in his word and we are seeking him in community. I love what you said about making the physical space for ourselves to seek God. Jesus did not come to die and maybe we might hear from him once in a while. How much do we receive this? “It is better for you that I go.” Sometimes, I am like, “Are you sure? I want you to come back right now.”

It is easy to think that, but that is true. That is the scripture. That is his word.

I am hopeful for each one of us that is here together that we can press into there are so many false things in this world. This thing of “live for yourself” is empty. That leads us nowhere. Find your identity. I love what you are like, “Be the Queen bee and all this stuff,” that is not going to do it for us. It is also not going to do it for us to be going around trying to seek our identity and validation from other people. Maybe that is what Jesus meant when he said, “The road is narrow.” It is who is going to make the time and space? Who is going to prioritize me to hear from my spirit and seek me?

It reminds me of a story. It was in my second book. I ran my first half marathon and I am not someone you would look at and be like, “She is a runner,” but I enjoy running. I thought I created a good playlist when I was in the North Carolina mountains. I was going to play all these bad girl music that was going to get me so pumped up, helped me through it, and then I got to mile three, and it was a beautiful view. It was the same place where I even accepted Christ for the first time. It is the same city and mountains area. I was at a childhood camp, but I was 22 doing a half marathon, and then I will never forget I turned the corner and I lost reception.

For some reason, all my music was gone. I was like, “What am I going to do? I have ten more miles and I do not have any reception or music.” Very much at that moment, I was like, “God, you have to talk to me.” I have to pray. This is going to be a time when I am praying and I have ten miles and I did not train well with that half marathon.

At that moment, I felt God’s spirit. I felt his voice comfort me and had conversations with him. I would look around and I could see. I encourage anyone who feels like they can’t hear God speak or you are like these women in the Bible to hear God speak. I never even was still enough with my mind to give God a chance to speak.

Sometimes, we need to hear that. If you haven’t even given God a chance to speak, you have been busy. You have been doing it all and have not even stopped to slow down and let him have a chance to talk. You have been interrupting him this whole time. That is what I felt at that moment because I was at a season where I was like, “I do not hear you speak,” and the minute I had no choice but to listen to him and I was not in a rush.

During quiet times, we are like, “I have fifteen minutes to read scripture. God, can you work with my timeline?” It should be a conversation throughout the day with him. It should be something you think about daily. That is something that I learned the hard way, having no music. I had one song, Ed Sheeran’s The A Team but I could not listen to that for thirteen miles. It was good for me.

You're not going to be able to please everyone, so just give it up. There's no winning. Click To Tweet

This other thing that you brought up too, is this necessary ingredient that I want to double down on for all of us, and that is honesty. That is an integral ingredient. In order for us to hear God, a lot of times, we need to be honest with God first. He does not need our Christianese. I do not do church or whatever. Wherever you are on the spectrum, coming to God with your honesty in your heart and wanting to hear from him, he is going to show up for you. Before we get to the question of your favorite female, as you have been in this process of being honest with your friends and with God and making space for him, what have you discovered about yourself through this process?

I have discovered a lot of my flaws. There are flaws that are rooted in my selfishness, the enemy, or my temptation that is bad but I have noticed those things. Through this whole self-discovery, my flaws are the things that I can’t be and I was not called to be. We call Jesus the Prince of Peace and a wonderful counselor. I have a friend who, when I look at her, has that wonderful counselor part. That is something that I can grow on and have a gentle spirit in listening. I am like, “That is your spiritual gift. There are other things that Christ has equipped me for.”

We have this mentality that in order to move forward with a purpose, we have to be the best at everything. The beautiful thing is when you are honest about the gifts God has given you, you also see the gaps you have. You see the gifts that other people have that you do not. You learn that that is not something that God is neglecting for me but it is something I can celebrate with her.

I can also see that there are other things for me. I can also notice it in her and praise and accept it. Especially with women, we do not mean to but society has made us competitive with each other. I have seen that spirit in me with that mentality of, “A lot of younger girls do it,” like their ex-boyfriend gets a new girlfriend. You looked them up on social media and showed them to your friends. You are like, “Is she prettier? Is she better than me?” Everyone is like, “No, she is not.”

The truth is there is always someone prettier and smarter than you. There may be someone better at their job at your work than you. There may be someone at the church who is a better worshiper than you. That is not something to be upset about. That is something to celebrate their gifts and not look at them as competition because we are not supposed to compete against our teammates.

This self-discovery, for me, and not caring what people think of me is stop trying to be this person who can do it all. I have Christ who can do all things. All I can do is through his strength, not my own strength. I am weak. There are so many gaps I have but I can celebrate the way he shows up in other people and realize they are not my competition. Women, especially, blame it on society, but we have gotten competitive with each other and that is such a waste of our time. I hate that we have done that because we are not fighting the real enemy by fighting each other.

That gets to this thing of making ourselves feel like we are either better than or worse than, and that is going to breed insecurity. What if throughout our day, we practice every single person that we met, whether they are homeless or a multi-billionaire who is doing whatever, and we say in our minds equally. We are not better or less than anybody.

If we could carry that around with us, that would help us in all of our relationships, including our relationship with ourselves. In your book, you share stories from nine women in the Bible that cultivated lives of courage instead of people-pleasing. Is there a woman that you like related to the most? If so, why, or share with us about these nine women.

I love that you ask that because I am thinking of them. The beautiful thing about it is each one, I see something in me. When God approaches a woman named Sarah and says, “You are going to get pregnant.” She is like, “No way,” and she tries to take control of the situation and has her husband sleep with Hagar. That is not what God was trying to tell her. I relate a lot to that, but especially Hagar was someone that I did not know about and I started reading scripture. I felt very overlooked in my life. Maybe some people are like, “You feel overlooked. I feel overlooked more,” but a lot of women feel overlooked that there is always someone else.

Hagar was a woman that I maybe do not fully relate to, but I understand. She has been overlooked and I do not understand her completely because she was a slave and was abused, but there has been some trauma that we have all gone through that we feel overlooked. God even called her back to a hard situation, but the beautiful thing was God looked at her and called her by name. She was in a time when no one called her by name. She called God the God who sees me. When I read that over and over again, I prayed over that. That is who I think God is to me.

WOMA Grace | Overcoming People Pleasing

Overcoming People Pleasing: There’s always someone prettier, smarter, and better at their job than you, but that’s not something to be upset about. That’s something to celebrate.

 
In a world, where I have been rejected, hurt, and betrayed, I have a God who looks at me and calls me by name when other people would walk by me and they would shame me. That is a beautiful picture to think of like, “This is the God who sees me.” This is the God who sees you listening. This is the God who is part of your life, sees you, and calls you by name, even though other people have totally overlooked you.

She was someone I very much admired because she went through a lot. The fact that she was one of the first people to even acknowledge who God was, that beautiful characteristic in itself, was very meaningful for me. I also talked about Tabitha. I love Tabitha because we do not know what she looked like or if she was married. We do not know much about her, but we know in the one verse that says about her and describes her is that she was kind and cared for the poor people. That is the life I want to live.

I am a goal person. I have dreams and I want those things to happen. I am a hard worker, but at the end of the day, when I read the story about Tabitha too, that is when I was like, “At the end of my life, if I can have people who say I was kind and cared about poor people and the overlooks, that is the woman I want to be. That is a legacy worth living.” No one remembers her body, if she was married or her relationship status but they remember that she was kind. That also impacted me. I gave you two, but I am sure everyone has someone unique to them. You can relate to them all, which is the beautiful thing about scripture.

There is so much to ponder.

Do you have one woman in the Bible in general that you admire?

It is Mary Magdalene. It illustrates the power of Jesus in our lives that none of us are too far gone. We have a tendency to listen to the voice of the accuser when we are trying to sort through stuff and that voice comes in. It is like, “You are never going to get this right. You keep messing up.” I do not know what the voice of the accuser sounds like in each of our lives here, but Jesus cast demons out of this woman. He appeared to her first. He rose from the dead and appeared to her first. I will never get over that.

Tell us your go and tell. To me, it is so easy to think, “God loves me, but God also wants to use you for something cool. The idea that she is the last person that anyone thought.” That is even what makes scripture so much real. All these people who put the Bible together that is not the story they would have read at that time.

A woman who was looked so down upon by culture was the one that Jesus rose from the dead and talked to first. That is a radical savior who loves and cares for women, who loves us all, who is not going to follow the world standard. He is going to follow his father and who he is. I admire that too. That speaks not only the Mary Magdalene but mainly to Christ in who he is and who he can use us to be.

There is a guy named Jamie Winship, a great Bible teacher and he tells the story of when the woman came in and she cried on Jesus’s feet and wiped his feet with her tears. All the Pharisees were standing by, “How could you let this happen? Don’t you know that she is a prostitute?” Jesus looked around the room and was like, “I do not see a prostitute here.” He looks at her and says, “Daughter.” That is what he saw her as.

That is what each of us needs to hear from Jesus. “Jesus, what is my identity in you?” In order to stop people-pleasing in a way that is godly and holy. We need to know our true identity in Christ and be walking in that so that we do not feel greater than or less than. Second to last question, for the young woman who is maybe struggling to move past the opinions of others or finds herself saying yes when she wants to say no or feels trapped by other people’s expectations, what is your encouragement to her?

God's plan is better than your present worries. Click To Tweet

The first thing that I would tell her is you are not going to be able to please everyone, so give it up. There is no winning. It is a trap. It is a scam from the world and the enemy for you to do that. The enemy wants you to waste your time trying to please other people because, in those moments, you are not going to notice your bold purpose and the legacy you could leave if you look at Christ. You can live this life and be restless, try your best, work your butt off, and do all the things, but if you are going to miss out on a legacy and a life that is radical, has this legacy, and this courageous faith if you do not look at Christ.

You are not stuck in the thoughts of others. It is easy to think like, “This is the way life will be and I will always think this way.” No, you can read scripture. Start changing your everyday perspective. It is almost like when you start eating healthy food, you begin to feel better. Start putting in the day things that point you to Christ and not to what Sarah says about you or to what your high school boys think of you, or what your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband thinks of you. Start putting things into practice that give you a perspective of Christ. That would be the main thing.

Especially when you are young, there are so many beauty standards and things that you can’t live up to. You are never going to be the prettiest girl in the room or the most successful, but you can be someone who sees their Christ in the room with them. The God who sees them is walking with them and calling them a daughter. Focus on that because that is something you can do and it is not right but it is true. You can’t do it perfectly, but you can do it truthfully and honestly. Focus on that instead of wasting your time trying to be less or more.

If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, how old would she be and what would you tell her?

One of my favorite quotes ever is, “Be who you needed when you were younger.” That is something that both of us try to live out because part of the reason we probably do these things is that we know what it is like to be broken and hurt. I think about my 19 or 20-year-old self in college is a frat party and life. I would tell her, “God’s plan is better than your present worries.”

I look back, whether it was a breakup, rejection, or constantly worrying about what other people think of me, I wish I could go back and tell her this is one bump in the road. If someone is reading this, you may be having a hard day, but this is not even a hard chapter. This is one paragraph that you are going through and God is going to use that. A bad thing can be a good thing if it is a God thing. Your hardship is horrible and it sucks, but God is going to be able to redeem that and use that.

That is what I would tell her and also stop trying to grow up so fast. I want her to be 19 or 20 to be ready for the next. There is something so beautiful in your current season. You do not need to have it all. I was working for money, overwhelmed, stressed, and wondering who I was going to be, but there is something so beautiful about that in-between season too.

Thank you for being with us, Grace. This has been a fun and timely conversation. My prayer for each one of us is to get out in nature or that space wherever we can and make that space for Jesus. I love that visual. It is sticking with me. Everything else is going to flow from that.

Give him a chance to talk to you. Something I do that is tangible too, is when I drive. It is so easy to want to go ahead and put that Bluetooth on either a show or your music playing. I would turn it off, pray, and talk to God. Sometimes, I even talk out loud. If someone looks to the left or right, they are probably like, “Who is this crazy woman talking to herself?” I am like, “I am in my car. No one can see.” It is beautiful when you give God a chance to speak.

Give God a chance to speak. Thanks, Grace.

 

 Important Links

 

About Grace Valentine

WOMA Grace | Overcoming People PleasingGrace Valentine is a popular blogger who founded the Enough Movement. Her readers love the fact that she is young, ordinary, and relatable-they say her fresh voice helps them navigate their own faith and life. Grace’s mission is to help those who have struggled like she has to find their worth in Someone who truly is worth following.
 
Grace graduated from Baylor University in 2018 with a degree in Journalism, and she is currently the Content and Curriculum Coordinator for the student ministry of First Baptist Orlando in Orlando, Florida.