By Arielle Estoria ||
There is something about this season that is just as frustrating as it is beautiful.
It is the point in our lives where we decide to either sit and twiddle our thumbs waiting for someone to come along and give our lives purpose and excitement or it’s the season where we are wild and reckless with a “do now, think later” sort of mentality. And on the other hand, perhaps it is both of those seasons combined into one, needless to say, most times being single is the last thing we want to be.
I would like to first and foremost say that I think singleness gets a bad rep, usually it involves a lot of squirming and wrestling, a lot of moaning and groaning, a lot of questioning and asking “Lord but where’s MINE?!” but maybe we’re looking at it all wrong.
I am a firm believer that there is something so necessary and crucial about singleness in regards to who we are as women of God. I think that we tend to miss out on a lot of the goodness that God has for just US and not our partners in these years of being “alone.” Here’s the thing: God is FULLY aware that you are single, trust me (he knows) and not only does he know but he sees and he understands. He knows that where you are and as you are right now is exactly where he wants you to be, in a space and season where you can enjoy the fullness of relationship with HIM before anyone else gets into the picture. We already know he’s a jealous God (Exodus 34:14) which just means he doesn’t like to share. God wants to love you and be loved by you and doesn’t want anyone or anything else to come between that.
This season of singleness is the very beginning foundation of your relationship with the very one who made you.
I imagine it like this- in the beginning when God made creation and then he made Adam on the seventh day and then the timeline stops. The time frame for when and how long God took to create Eve after Adam is not concisely calculated or documented. Do you ever wonder how long it was after Adam that God made Eve? Do you ever wonder exactly HOW LONG Adam was asleep before him and Eve ever met?
I LOVE THIS VISUAL. God made Adam and he spent time with him, got to know him, gave him purpose and identity and then he put him to sleep and made Eve. I imagine that God –after having made Eve (before she even knew Adam existed) did the same thing with her. Created her, spent time with her, gave her purpose and identity and THEN introduced to her to the man she would know to be her husband.
Ladies, this season is your chance to get to know your creator so beautifully and intimately. It is the season where he will give YOU your purpose and identity and then (when and if it happens) you will be paired with who he has intended for you after he has also experienced that intimacy and purpose with his creator.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Singleness is not meant to be this “let’s sit and wait for someone to come save or complete you” part of life because my loves – YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN SAVED by the only one who has the power to do so and you have already been made whole and complete IN HIM. So what are you waiting for? This season is one where you get to go out and live fully in who God has called you to be and what he has called you to do. Yes, I know sometimes it will not be our favorite (trust me–I get it!) BUT I would not trade these years for anything. I have learned so much about who I am and who God has made me to be and what he has purposed ME to do and one day? One day my mission as an individual will be paired with the mission of whoever “he” is and we will be one unstoppable force for the kingdom, but we can’t do that unless we both know what we’re bringing to the table.
The desire to not be single will ABSOLUTELY come up and that’s okay, you know why? Because we were literally made to be in relationship with someone. Our very BODIES came from another person and so it is no wonder why we will yearn and desire to be connected with him again. But in everything there is timing–perfect timing that goes beyond our check lists and plans for our lives but rests in bigger hands who wants nothing but the best for us.
So darling, in this space, in this season learn to revel in the opportunity that you have to get to know the very one who made you so closely and intimately. Use this season to find what excites you, what you’re passionate about, what makes YOU come alive and become aware of what he has called you to do on this earth. And when it gets tough? When you feel restless pray for him. Pray for the person you one day hope to be with, dream about who he could be and then? Get back to work because you have purpose and a mission to complete before he can find you. I promise there is goodness in this season, you just have to go out and find it.
Have a listen to this beautiful piece titled “Chosen” by Arielle below:
Arielle Estoria is a Writer, Speaker and Creative. Her motto of “Words not for the ears but for the soul” stems from her dedication to remind her audience that words are meant to be felt and not just heard. Arielle’s first EP, a collection of music and poetry called Symphony of a Lioness is now available on iTunes or Apple Music. She is Co-author of two self published collections of poetry: Vagabonds and Zealots (2014) and Write Bloody Spill Pretty (2017) which can both be found on Amazon.com. She is made of sass and good intentions, has a deep love for car karaoke, brunch and flowers.