by Jeff Bethke
Yesterday we looked at how sometimes a good thing (modesty) can turn into a God thing (idolatry). In part two we will look at two reasons why I think we fall into the trap of modesty legalism.
Everything Caters to the Men
Imagine if men were subject to women’s “stumbling block” argument as much as women are to men? Imagine if a woman’s heart was cared for, cherished, and defended with the same tenacity that Christians defend men’s purity? You would certainly hear a lot less sermons about women having to dress a certain way, and more sermons about guys needing to repent of flirty text messages late at night with a girl he has no intention of pursuing. Maybe rather than girl’s having to pass the “skirt test” in the hallway, the teenage boys would have to pass the “text message test” by having their Christian teacher read through them everyday. Imagine that?
It is sad how much of the Christian theology centers on the man being helped and defended. Women are constantly told to dress in a way that makes the men not “stumble.” Now it is extremely encouraging from a guy’s point of view when you can tell a woman is dressing in a way to honor and help a brother in Christ. But, a lot of times this is just a cop out for guys to not deal with their unrepentant lust, sexual sin, and heart issues. It is following in the footsteps of their first father Adam who didn’t take responsibility but instead blamed his wife (Genesis 3).
The truth is a guy can lust or think sinful thoughts about a woman if she were fully covered head-to-toe. No matter what a girl wears the guy has a choice whether he will let Jesus and the power of grace rule in his heart, or if he will let his flesh rule over him. So women, dress modestly, but don’t become a slave to a man’s eyes, become a slave to Jesus.
We love Rules and Regulations, not the Spirit
No matter what the issue is, we as humans prefer rules, regulations, laws, and checklists to Jesus himself. Rather than asking the Spirit what the real issue is inside a woman’s heart, we simply want them to externally modify their behavior. We love to live by the letter of the law, and not the Spirit of the law. We do this because the rules are easier and quicker. But please take note of this one simple truth; a woman must have her heart changed, before her clothes ever will.
Trusting the Spirit takes constant communion, relationship, praying, etc. We can make rules and adhere to them whether the Spirit is absent or not, but to live by the Spirit means you must have a real, intimate, and lively relationship with Him in order to be in communication with Him. This does take time and effort, but the change that occurs here is real, deep, and lasting. If we are only after behavior modification and not the heart, we’ve lost the point completely and are in the same sin as the promiscuous dressing girl, just with a different bent. This is why I love Jesus; He is the perfect solution and antithesis to both religion and rebellion.
Solution
Trust the gospel, and no longer submit to a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). Don’t feel that your standing before God is in exact parallel with how you dress. You are clothed in perfection because you are in Jesus, not because you dress modestly. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Above that though bring glory to God through your clothes. Dress in such a way that points to your Savior and Creator, not yourself. Because as mentioned above, even sometimes modesty campaigns can be all about you, when God calls us to dress in a way that’s all about Him.
On a practical level, ask your husband, boyfriend, or a guy who is a “brother figure” about this subject. I think this type of guy usually knows you enough to have an honest conversation about what is helpful, what isn’t, and what brings the most glory to Jesus. Lastly, attack the heart of the issue and ask the Spirit to reveal where something may need to change. Remember that clothes (and the attitude that puts on those clothes) are simply an outflow of what’s in the heart. So, ladies, let our Savior’s grace, rather than your righteousness, be exalted through your dress.
How does this impact your view of modesty? Will it change the way you look at how you get dressed in the morning?