“You’re so stupid.” “I guess I look okay.” “Why did I eat all of that? No wonder I’m fat.” “I should have worked out harder.” “I’m such an idiot for forgetting that!” “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be on time.”
Talk, talk talk. Negative self talk. You know what I’m talking about?
Sometimes it’s so subtle we don’t even realize we’re doing it. The negative thoughts pop up in the moment sounding accusatory and mean. And Satan thrives on our negative self-talk because it tears others and our own selves down instead of building up.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Really, I don’t know why we are so negative and hard on ourselves as women and daughters of the King, not when we have the written truth of the Word at our fingertips! But I’ve felt convicted of this negative self talk and harsh way of communicating with myself when it comes to daily life, my looks, and my work.
It’s like a constant qualification of how I am doing throughout the day. And it’s an amazing tool of the Enemy to get us so ingrained in negative talk and accusations about ourselves, lying and going against God’s very word.
But then I heard the soothing truth straight from the Holy Spirit this one day when I was getting ready for work. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time- Earings, check. Makeup, check. Cute shoes, check check. But instead of saying “Thanks, God, for all the blessings you’ve given me this morning,” I actually said out loud: “My face looks fat, but I guess I look okay otherwise.” So quickly I heard a gentle rebuttal, “No. You’re beautiful.”
My heart grew quiet knowing Who spoke and I realized that I need to be in the Word more when it comes to my words and language, especially in regard to my own self talk. How can I truly be uplifting and encouraging to others if I’m not even that way with myself?
After all, it’s not my mirror that speaks, it’s God’s word.
A quick look at all the good things God says about His children I learned that God calls me His daughter (2 Corinthians 6:18), redeemed (Ephesians 1:7), chosen and holy (1 Peter 2:9), a child of light (1 Thessalonians 5:5), and so many amazing words of truth my head should be spinning with joy!
But with one subtle dart from the enemy I allow myself to give in and call myself an idiot, stupid, that I’ll never change, and even disqualify being fearfully and wonderfully made by simply saying I look “okay.”
NO! God called us good and very good at the beginning of time in Genesis. Very good. God’s words not mine. I don’t feel very good most days. I feel worn out and depressed. But as God convicts me of my self-talk, ultimately it’s His word against mine. Haha! Who’s right? Certainly not me.
Ladies, we need to be aware of building each other up and it can start with ourselves.
What truth are you allowing into your mind and soul? The word says to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Are we obeying Christ in guarding our hearts from the enemy by speaking truth, encouragement, and life?
If we allow negative thoughts, name-calling, and bullying within ourselves to take root in our hearts and minds, God isn’t honored. The truth is we are His chosen daughters and we should allow grace and mercy within our self-talk for our own souls to be lifted up and soar with life!
So ladies, let’s be wary of the enemies schemes, our negative self talk, and the image of God we represent to our friends, family, and those who don’t know the truth.
I challenge you this week to combat the negative talk with three positive names that God calls you, each and every time you are tempted to give into the accusations and lies Satan wants to pull you down with. We can fight this battle with the “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17).
Below is a list of names that God calls His people. So when you are tempted, or if you hear a friend giving into negative self-talk, take a deep breath and refer to this list. Fight the lies with the truth and let’s reclaim our identity as women, building each other up!
Wonderfully Made – “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” Psalm 139:14.
Beautiful – “Let the King be enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for he is your Lord” Psalm 45:11.
A Temple – “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself” 1 Corinthians 6:19.
Chosen – “But even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace. Then it pleased him…” Galations 1:15.
Holy and God’s Special Possession – “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” 1 Peter 2:9.
Blameless – “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight” Ephesians 1:4.
Apple of His Eye – “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings” Psalm 17:8.
What is your favorite name from God?
Photo Cred: David Marcu
Juliandra Durkin is the manager for Wonderfully Made’s blog Know Your Value. She also writes at Written Jewels, a personal blog with stories and reflections on life. Besides writing, she spends her free time exercising or out in nature. Give her a beach or a mountain; sunrise or sunset, she loves it all, especially walking her dogs in the woods! A graduate of Westmont College, Juliandra was able to attend three study abroad programs exploring Spain, parts of the Middle East, and Mexico. These experiences gave her a heart for culture and travel and she hopes to get more stamps in the passport soon!