HerStory: Kendall McAllister

By November 2, 2010June 20th, 2018Her Story

The beautiful Kendall (on the WM Leadership Team at Santa Clara University) weighs in on going undercover, wearing masks, and being bare before the God who loves the real her!

A little lost? A little confused? A little afraid?

I can definitely relate. But no one can see that. I wear a mask to those around me. More often than not I am genuinely happy and filled with joy – loving ME and loving MY life. I have wonderful friends, a loving family; I have traveled abroad and am blessed with my own unique gifts. But there are times, frequent times, that my introverted side of my personality takes control and that’s when everything is NOT okay.

Throughout college I started to discover my relationship with God but sometimes I still don’t know who He is. When something is wrong and I close up to the rest of the world I find myself the most spiritual and contemplative. Just as the lyrics of “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real say … I often find myself thinking, “Lead me with strong hands, Stand up when I can’t, Don’t leave me hungry for love.”

I’ve struggled with finding my own self identity, self confidence and believing in my worth and although not everyone may know about it besides a few close friends, He does. I know He does. I have to believe He does. Faith is an intriguing word and awfully hard to define. But if I believe that someone unseen to me LOVES me unconditionally … then … WOW.

God knows everything about us and we cannot wear a mask to Him. We are revealed before Him and He will be the only constant in our lives. We don’t have to go undercover with God because we simply can’t. But we can be different to the rest of the world. To everyone else we can fake a smile, change our clothes, or put on makeup to pretend to be someone we’re not. But none of that matters before God. We are bare before Him … all that’s left is who we are and He loves us for that.

The amazing part of life is that I know I’m not alone. Everyone struggles and everyone suffers. My faith is still growing but I can feel that everyday my relationship with God gets a little bit closer and a little bit stronger. Most importantly I have my friends who lift me up everyday and remind me of who I am and to not stray from the amazing, cheerful, giving girl I know I am.

“On Your shoulders I can see, I’m free to be me.” – Francesca Battistelli

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