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Don’t Be A Settler

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” – Romans 8:25

You may have seen a DirecTV commercial recently where it depicts pioneer-clad people “settling” for cable television instead of choosing to use their satellite service. The tag line at the end of the ad is simple – “Don’t be a settler.” I usually don’t pay attention to commercials, but this week a simple tag line for a satellite company kept popping up in my head – don’t be a settler.

Why is it that we settle? Specifically, why do we settle in our dating relationships? If you have to add a “but” or two…or three to your sentence when describing the guy you are dating – you are probably not going out with God’s best for you. “We’ve been dating for a six months, but he doesn’t want to put a label on it, but he’s just so great.” Let’s just stop that. Let’s just stop settling for mediocre relationships when God has the absolute best planned for us. You are a daughter of a King. You have worth. You have value. Let’s actively believe that, my sisters. Let’s not just date for the sake of dating.

I know it is hard to wait. I know it is frustrating to check your Facebook and Instagram feeds and see endless photos of friends and family getting engaged, married and having sweet little ones, but I also know that settling for the wrong guy fills your heart with a false sense of fulfillment instead of peace. Waiting patiently can be hard, but know that settling for a guy just because you are lonely or you are searching to be “complete” will only cause you heartache in the end. It is important to find our completion in Him first, and He will be faithful to finish our story page by page. While we are waiting in hope, let’s dig deeper into our Father’s plan instead of fighting our way into the wrong guy’s heart.

If he walks ahead of you, wait for the man who will walk beside you.

If you’re the punchline of the jokes your boyfriend tells, wait for the man who knows how to make you laugh, and not at your cost.

If he rarely compliments you, wait for the man who sees and appreciates you and your beauty – inside and out.

If he is not up front about details or feelings, wait for the man you can trust with your whole heart.

If he doesn’t take you around his friends, wait for the man who can’t wait to introduce you to everyone he knows.

If he’s wishy washy with his feelings for you, wait for the man who can’t wait to commit to you.

If he doesn’t love you the way that God loves the church, wait for the man that will.

I would rather be a woman awaiting God’s best, than a woman compromising my worth for the sake of time or convenience. Don’t be a settler.


about the authorDanielle Kingsley, a Southern California native, served as a missionary and worship leader for ten years at a growing church planted by her family in Salt Lake City, Utah. In 2007, Danielle moved to Nashville, Tennessee where she was provided the opportunity to be the original vocalist to record the now popular worship song, Your Great Name. In 2013, she released her first EP Falling, that generated two #1 singles on International Christian radio.

Since the recent loss of her father to a brief battle with cancer, Danielle has been sharing her story about finding hope through loss and the peace that is found in Jesus at a variety of conferences across the United States. She is writing her first children’s book and devotional, and is currently on tour with Secret Keeper Girls. Check out her blog at Follow her on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter @DKingsleyMusic

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