By: Danielle Kingsley
“I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothing. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” I Timothy 2:9-10 (NLT)
I had the honor of traveling the country this past year talking to young girls and their moms about a topic I am most passionate about – modesty. I deeply value modesty and believe it needs to be taught and modeled to the next generation. We are called as daughters of the King to live modestly, so that we aren’t drawing attention to ourselves, but ultimately that we are pointing the world to God!
The topic of modesty can be controversial at times within the church. Some say modesty can be sexist, while others may take it to the extremes. Now, we don’t need to run out and grab our rulers and turtlenecks quite yet – because modesty isn’t just about what we wear – it’s about the state of our hearts and how we present ourselves while representing Who we serve.
There are many myths and misconceptions when it comes to modesty – let’s look at five of them.
1. Modesty suggests we are ashamed of our bodies.
Modesty isn’t about “covering up” our bodies because we aren’t confident in them. Modesty is about respecting our bodies and realizing our value. Beauty isn’t showing more skin – beauty comes from the inside out. Some of the most gorgeous women I know live out the call of modesty, and I believe this makes them even more beautiful. We are created in the image of God, my sisters!
2. Modesty is unattractive to the opposite sex.
We’ve all heard the saying, “you are what you eat.” I believe we attract what we represent. If a man doesn’t see your beauty because you dress modestly, then he is not the kind of man you want to marry! Modesty is attractive. A woman who is confident in herself, so much so that she doesn’t see the need to dress immodestly is attractive. I know so many godly men who only have eyes for their wives/girlfriends in any room, not because these women show a lot of skin, but because these women are confident in who they are in Christ, and in turn are truly radiant.
3. Modesty isn’t a woman’s problem.
I’ve read and heard a lot of arguments in which it is stated that women should be able to wear whatever they want, and if a man has lust in his eyes, well that’s his problem. Certainly, lust is a sin, and one in which an individual must answer for – but why not help our brothers in Christ out a little by not wearing immodest and indecent clothing? Men are visual beings, and we can’t blame them for their struggles if we are encouraging the problem. Let’s not tease our brothers in Christ – let’s help them win, and meanwhile save a little something for our husband/future husband’s eyes only.
4. Revealing clothing isn’t a distraction – it’s just clothes.
How we present ourselves matters because of Who we are ultimately representing. When clothes are revealing, it is likely we are leaving an impression of immodesty, instead of leaving an impression of God. Immodest clothing is a distraction because it draws attention to us, and draws attention away from the One we are representing.
5. Modesty is so 2000 and late.
I’ve often heard that the concept of modesty is outdated – but God’s Word doesn’t have an expiration date. We are called to live a modest lifestyle – no matter our age and no matter the date on the calendar. Modesty doesn’t have to come at the price of fashion. A few of my young friends and I pulled together some of our favorite modest summer looks to help you jump-start your summer fashion on the right foot!
Lauren is as cute as they come and has impeccable grace and style. Shop her boho inspired look here.
Shelby’s vibrant outfit is perfect for either day or night! How cute are her Warby Parker glasses? Shop her look here.
Katie has effortless style – perfect for a day at The Farmer’s Market or the weekend! Shop her look here.
Photo Cred: Danielle Kingsley
Danielle Kingsley, a Southern California native, served as a missionary and worship leader for ten years at a growing church planted by her family in Salt Lake City, Utah. In 2007, Danielle moved to Nashville, Tennessee where she was provided the opportunity to be the original vocalist to record the now popular worship song, Your Great Name. In 2013, she released her first EP Falling, that generated two #1 singles on International Christian radio.
Since the recent loss of her father to a brief battle with cancer, Danielle has been sharing her story about finding hope through loss and the peace that is found in Jesus at a variety of conferences across the United States. She is writing her first children’s book and devotional, and is currently on tour with Secret Keeper Girls. Check out her blog at www.DanielleKingsley.com. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter @DKingsleyMusic